The New Kids in the Coven
by MarXno
Summary: The Volturi have recruited three new vampires, each who possess amazing powers... The problem? Their sense of hilarious humor amongst the stone stiff Volturi… Ever wonder what would happen if three pranksters got into the Twilight world? Find out!
1. Prologue: Welcome to Your New Home!

**Prologue: **_**Welcome to Your New Home**_**!**

The Volturi: a very old, very powerful vampire family who resides in the city of Volterra, Italy. They are the closest thing the vampires of the world have to a royal family, having existed for over 3,000 years, and being the largest coven of vampires, each of whom has an incredible gift. The Volturi have protected the secret of vampires for centuries, and consider it their highest task. They are always recruiting, seeking out the vampires with unique powers that can further help their continued existence…

***

_So, Aro finally accepted those vampires' plea to be let into the Volturi, did he? How old were they again? Fifteen? From what Marcus has described to me, they sound as useless and pathetic as they come._

Caius sighed. The three new recruits should be arriving any day now, from what Aro had said.

_What has the Volturi come to? It's not like it used to be, when only the vampires with the finest powers were accepted! No… now even the stupidest could join without even demonstrating their power, their wit, their skill… This type of lazy acceptancy from Aro will undoubtedly be our downfall!_

"Hey there! Hiya! How are you?!"

Caius turned from where he sat thinking and glared at whoever had spoken to him… except there was no one there.

"So, Aro told me to tell you that we were the new recruits that were accepted into the Volturi, m'kay kay?"

Caius blinked, the voice's body should have been right next to him, yet there was nothing there, not even a trace of smell or presence of body; there was _nothing_. Suddenly, a young blue haired vampire was before them, her eyes a bright, frightening red. Caius had never seen her before, her sent was unfamiliar. Quite plainly, she was an intruder.

She sighed. "Ceara, you're invisible again!"

The bodiless voice snorted. "Am _not_!"

"Look down at yourself, hun."

"Oooo… I knew that."

Suddenly a vampire, looking to be near the same age as the blue haired girl, appeared in front of Caius. She had long, brown hair that danced down to the middle of her back. The two vampires stared at one another for a quick moment (which, when dealing with vampires, was actually _way_ quicker than quick… wait… huh?) before turning back to Caius.

Ceara beamed. "Howdy do? We're new-!"

Suddenly, the two double doors to the Hall of the Volturi burst open, and a group of vampires glided in. Aro was at the head of the party, and was followed closely by Renata, whose hand was lingering close to the back of her master's cloak. Jane and Alec came next, followed by Demetri and Felix. Caius sat up a little straighter, trying to ignore the two vampires who still hovered by his chair.

Marcus, who'd been zoning in his own throne, glanced over and finally noticed the two unknown vampires. "Aro, would you be so kind as to tell me what two vampires, mysterious to myself and to Caius, I'm sure, are doing in the Hall?" His voice was, as always, monotone.

The blue haired girl peered over at the ancient vampire.

"_Well_, aren't you the boring one."

Aro raised his hand, causing the attention to draw towards him. He looked at the two new vampires and smiled... _really_ creepily…

"Ladies, what a pleasure it is to finally have you with us. At last! Your powers are by far the most extraordinary I've seen yet… well, besides the twins', that is." He chuckled to himself and waved his hand, causing the group of Volturi members around him to disburse. The vampires took up their usual positions around the room; only their red eyes moved, following the two mysterious vampires.

Ceara, who'd noticed this, shuffled over to her friend.

"Er, Morgan? Why are they all staring at us? Like… like they want to eat us?

"'Cause they're curious… Wha-? They don't want to eat us, retard, that would be cannibalism!"

"_So_…"

Suddenly Aro had swept up beside them and herded the two off of the platform where the three chairs resided and into the center of the room. "Come, come, and let us see a demonstration! But, er, weren't there three of you before?"

Morgan nodded and fingered her long hair. "Turn around, dude. Look in your seat."

Aro turned his eyes, as did all the Volturi, to the leader's throne. There, a young vampire with short, black hair was lounging, a book open in front of her. She ignored the stares, flipping a page in her paperback absently.

Jane stepped forward, enraged at the disrespect the black haired girl was showing to Aro.

"I would get off of there if I were you. Things could become… painful."

Aro raised a hand to quite Jane, who sneered, rage contorting her features. "Calm yourself, my sweet. There's no need to go killing off our newest members over something as silly as this!"

Ceara nodded, turning to face Jane. "Yeah, so STEP BACK IN LINE, FRUITCUP!"

Morgan slapped her forehead. "Amy, please come down from there."

Amy suddenly appeared next to her companions, still reading her book. Morgan rolled her eyes. "Ok Amy, wanna demonstrate first?"

"Sure."

Amy stood in the center of the room, all eyes trained on her. She held her book straight out in front of her, still reading it, and then let it go. The book stayed where she'd let go of it, floating in place. A page turned by itself, then another one.

"Amazing, simply amazing." Aro muttered to himself, continuing to watch Amy.

Jane cut through Aro's mutterings. "Is that all you can do? Make things _float_?"

Ceara gasped, rushing to her coven-mate's defense. "Oh I know you did not just diss her power! Amy, use the force! The _force_!"

Amy turned to face Jane and locked eyes. Suddenly, the blond vampire was upside down in the air, floating around the circular room. "Wagh! Alec, _help_!"

Her twin chuckled and shook his head. "No way sis, you got yourself into this one, now you get yourself out! Besides… I'm enjoying this _way_ too much."

Morgan and Ceara cracked up as they watched Jane circle around the room, freaking out.

"Who's the loser now?! Let's see your stupid power get you out of that one!"

***

"Ceara, dear, why don't you go next?"

Ceara turned to face Aro and smiled. Suddenly, she was gone.

"The funny thing is, I'm still standing here!" She announced, her voice echoing off the high stone walls.

Morgan looked around her, panicked. "Ceara? Ceara?! Where are you?"

"I'm right in front of you!"

"Oh…"

Caius jumped as suddenly Morgan popped up beside him. "I bet I can hit her with this piece of popped corn!" She said, holding up a piece of popcorn.

"It's _pop_corn, not _popped _corn."

"Whatever Amy! Go back to reading your book again!"

Caius stared at Morgan like she'd just eaten an entire cheeseburger and enjoyed the taste. Where had she even gotten popcorn? The young vampire took aim and threw the kernel at the space where Ceara supposedly was. It smacked against an unseen Ceara then fell a few inches before being caught by Ceara's invisible hand.

"Ah! You got it in my eye! It's… its SALTY!"

"And buttery!"

Ceara moved the piece of popcorn up and down, giving the appearance that it was floating by itself. "Ooooh! _Aaaaah_! Look, its magic! How do I do it? It's a _mystery_!"

Suddenly, there was a soft crunching sound. Morgan put her hands on her hips. "Did you just eat that?"

"Uh, _noooo_…"

Amy stomped her foot suddenly and glared around her. Jane, who was still floating around the room, dropped abruptly with a _smack_ down behind Amy. "Can you two shut up?! I'm trying to read here!" A page of her book flipped absently by itself.

"_Oookay_ then! My turn!" Morgan traipsed into the center of the room, pushing a still invisible Ceara out of the way. "I can copy any vampire's power. Just throw one at me, people."

Aro's eyebrows rose. He quickly glided down to where Morgan stood and produced his hand. "Tell me, can you copy my own power?"

"Ya-duh!" Morgan grasped Aro's hands and shut her eyes.

"I'm seeing, I'm seeing, I'm seeing… Your mom used to call you Bun Bun?!"

Aro gasped and smiled, eyeing Morgan as if she were a snack. "Ah, so you can copy powers."

"Yeah, the vampire just has to be within a few miles… but sometimes, if I copy the power enough, I don't need the person there to use it."

Aro clapped his hands in delight and returned to his throne. "Very well, ladies, the demonstrations are over. You may do as you wish."

***

Morgan and Ceara ran over to where Alec was standing back, watching as Felix and Demetri had a boring conversation on how they'd only gotten into a few nasty fights over the past years, and how it was a shame that there weren't more. Morgan tapped Alec in the back. "Hiya dude, waz crackin'?"

Without waiting for a reply, she reached out and touched Alec on the shoulder, absorbing and using Aro's nearby power. She was silent for a moment, then…

"Oooh! Aah! You did WHAT? You didn't! With who? Was it her?!" Morgan glared and pointed to Jane. Alec stared at her, openmouthed. "No? Then what about HIM?!" Morgan nodded her head towards Felix. "Oh-oooh… Aro and Carlisle, right?" Alec shook his head, unsure if he should just run away or attack the seemingly crazy vampire in front of him.

"Morgan," Ceara sighed, "stop reading his thoughts. Shut up!"  
"No! You don't know the things he's done!"

Ceara blinked, intrigued. "Tell me, tell me!"

"No, it's…"

Suddenly Morgan fell to the ground, losing her balance in her surprise (… though how she didn't catch herself still confuses a lot of people. I mean, she's supposed to be a graceful vampire, right…?). Alec was staring at her angrily, using his power to take all her senses away.

"You could have at least caught me before I hit the ground, jerk!"

Alec glared irritably at Morgan.

Ceara had her "thinking" expression on (something that was incredibly rare!).

"You know, Alice-"

"Uh Ceara? It's Alec."

"Oh, right. Thanks Morgs… You know Al-… Al- _dude_, you're perfect for Amy. Same cold exterior… and interior…

Suddenly, Aro stood up. "How about a little hunting trip, eh? As a sort of welcome to our new family members."

***

The Hall was silent; everyone had left for the hunting trip, except…

"Hello? _Hellooo_? Is anyone there? Uh… help?"

Morgan lay on the ground, unsure if she should get up. Alec's power was still on her, slowly lifting off. She was afraid that she'd get lost if she got up and walked around… plus, the last few affects of Alec's power were making her too confused to even think much. A few more moments of silence, then… "Aha! I'll use Ceara's power to turn invisible, so I won't feel so alone!"

***

Felix entered the room, looking around for where he'd accidentally dropped his watch. Suddenly he froze. A voice was singing… but there was nobody there…

"_One_ is the loneliest number that I ever knew… _Two_ can be as sad as one… I think…"

Felix panicked. "GHOST! GHOST!"

Morgan freaked out, she hadn't noticed Felix. "VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE! Someone get a wooden stake! There's a freakin' vampire in here!"

Turning, Felix ran (and I do mean _ran_) away, leaving Morgan in silence once more.

There was the sound of a book snapping shut.

"Do you want help now? I'm finished with my book."

"Wha-? Amy… YOU'RE STILL HERE?!"

"Maybe… maybe not…"

Morgan jumped up, appearing again, and rushed at her friend.

"AAAAAH! … Oh wait, I'm up!"

**Ok, so, this is basically a little fanfic me and my friends though up while watching New Moon. We were watching the Volturi scene, and I just started thinking of all the stupid stuff we would do if we were there. It eventually escalated to the point where we sat down and wrote it all down (in a corner of the library, hiding behind a stack of books. Great hiding place, right?). So this was just a little something I decided to throw out there, I hope you guys enjoyed it. This is just the intro (I find I do a lot of intros for my stories… **_**weird**_**) Send me some feedback, a review or msg or something! Don't leave me in the cold, people! I want to know what you all think, and so do my friends! Anyways… Yay, today was a snowday (=D)! No school for me *throws snow at teacher*! Haha, so I don't own anything in the Twilight saga… but I do own myself! And my friends… own themselves… yeah. Kay, peace! **

**~MarXno**

**Morgan – Ooooh, my back, my back! It's been ruined!**

**Alec – That's what you get for reading my private thoughts!**

**Morgan – So it IS true! *dies of shock***

**Alec – Uh… So anyways!**

**Ceara – Yes! She's dead! Wait… it's Amy I hate… No! She's dead!**

**Amy - *hurt* Thanks! *sniff***

**Morgan - *Hugs Amy* I love you Amy!**

**Amy – Thanks! *Smiles and pats Morgan on head***

**Ceara – Suck up… I LOVE YOU TOO AMY!**

**Amy – Whatever!**

**Ceara – oooh…**

**Morgan – Ha! Loser!**


	2. The Birthday Party

**The Party**

A month after the three young vampires joined the esteemed Volturi, they grew… well… _really_, _really_ bored. There wasn't much to do at their new home, since Aro insisted that they stay cooped up in the Hall until night, on account of the fact that he didn't trust them enough to go out during the day without another member of the Guard to watch over them; he didn't want any mysterious "accidents" among the humans that resulted in the destruction of the three newbie's…

However, luckily, Morgan new a young vampire who was hosting a party for a friend over on the west coast of America. With much consistent pleading, the three girls finally got permission from Aro to go, having cleverly pointed out that a little time in a different country, far away from Italy, would help them achieve the stability needed to actually function as a part of the Volturi, and not be followed around by members of the Guard like little children.

***

"Are we there yet?"

"No, a little longer."

"How much longer?"

"Idk, go ask Amy."

"But she'd reading!"

"Just go _ask_!"

Morgan glanced over at Ceara annoyedly. The three vampires had been running for about half and hour; the other thirty minutes had been them swimming across the Atlantic. She estimated that they were in Idaho, just about to cross over into Washington.

"Amy says to ask you."

Morgan groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead, jumping over a fallen log in a single bound. Road trips with her coven were always a nuisance… especially since Ceara had ADD most of the time.

"Ok, uhh, about five mintues? Yeah, that's right. Hang tight, kay?"

"Kay…"

There was silence. The three girls broke loose of the surrounding forest and raced across a meager lay out of farmland. This place, it was so wet! Morgan glanced over at Amy, who was running full speed, her face buried in her newest book.

"Must be some page turner, huh Amy?"  
Amy glanced over at Morgan and nodded, resuming in her reading.

"Would it kill yeah to _answer_ for once-?"

"Are we there yet?!"

Morgan yelled in exasperation.

"NO! We are NOT there yet!"

Amy cut in, nose still in her book.

"Uh, is that the Cullens house?"

"How did you see-?"

"Let's go!" Ceara took off, racing for the large house like a squirrel for its nut.

"Oh boy…"

***

"Happy birthday, Bella!"

The Cullen family turned to watch as Bella descended the stairs, Edward at her arm. They all beamed, not having celebrated a birthday for decades.

Alice Cullen skipped over to her friend, giving her a warm hug. Bella blushed and smiled awkwardly. "Uh, thanks Alice… everything looks great!"

"You _bet_ it does!"

The whole family whirled around in astonishment, surprised to find three young girls suddenly in their home. A blue haired one stood next to Emmett, while a brown haired girl popped up next to Jasper. Another was reading her book, lounging on the sofa.

"So, when do we get to eat cake?"

No one responded, still apparently shocked. Finally, Carlisle spoke. "May I ask how you three got in here?" …_Without any of us hearing_? _They're clearly vampires, yet still we'd be able to hear them enter_.

The blue haired vampire raised her hand.

"Oh! OH! I know this one, pick me! I HAVE THE CORRECT ANSWER!"

Carlisle nodded in her direction, casting Esme an amused (and scared) glance.

"Well, I'm Morgan, that's Ceara-"

"HI!"

"-And that's Amy. We were really bored at the Volturi's, so we decided to hop over here for the party! The more the merrier, _right_?"

Carlisle blinked. "The _Volturi_? You're members of the Volturi?"

"Never mind that, how'd you get in here?!" Edward was frowning deeply, holding Bella close to him.

Morgan nodded. "Uh, yeah we are! …So Ceara has the power to turn completely invisible, right? And I can copy anyone's power. So she used her power, I copied it, and well-ah! Here we are!"

"But what about her- Amy?"

"Oh her? She's just naturally a loser, fades from society like that!" Morgan snapped her fingers.

Emmett grinned. "Alright, so what if they want to celebrate with us, they're not doing any harm."

"But what if they attack Bella-?"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

The Cullens looked around, confused. Who could be at their door?

"That must be for me!"

Edward blinked. "Who is it?"

"Hopefully the delivery boy with my pizza, duh!"

Ceara frowned. "Your… you ordered PIZZA?!"

Morgan opened the door and snatched the pizza box away from the delivery guy, slapping a twenty in his face and then kicking him (literally) down the porch steps. She slammed the door behind her.

"Yeah, why?"

"'Cause maybe _I_ wanted something!"

Morgan ripped open the box and picked up the pepperoni pizza by two sides, folded it in half, and shoved it down her throat. It took her a full minute to finally get it down; the Cullens watched, flabbergasted. Emmett, however, had a stupid grin on his face.

"That… was… AWESOME! _Dude_, that must've tasted disgusting!"

Morgan rolled over, suddenly holding her stomach. "Oooh… disgustingly good! … It hurts! Too much food! _Medic_! Someone call a doctor, I need some assistance!"

Carlisle walked over, unsure if she really needed help. Meanwhile, Bella was opening her presents. "Agh, papercut!"

Jasper suddenly charged, his eyes on Bella's bleeding finger. Edward slammed into him, knocking Bella backwards into glass with his hand. Morgan, who'd been talking to Carlisle, looked up.

"Oh! Yeah, violence! Get em' Edwardo! Go, go, _gooo_!"

Ceara was whooping and laughing, Amy was reading her book, oblivious to the action.

"Get Jasper outside!" Carlisle yelled, rushing over to help Bella. Morgan raised her hands in the air. "What am I, _squash_?! I'm in need of medical assistance, too, you know! Who gives a crap if the emo girl dies?!"

Emmett and Rosalie had made it to the door, still wresting Jasper. Emmett wrenched it open. A surprised delivery boy was standing there, hand raised mid-knock

. "My Chinese food!" Ceara cheered, racing over to grab it from the guy. She shoved a quarter in his face and pushed him out of the way so Emmett could get through. Leaning over, she nodded towards Jasper and whispered, "Didn't get his Happy Meal, not good… You might wanna skedattle…"

Forgetting that she still owed him money, the guy ran for it. Morgan started angrily at Ceara, eyeing the food.

Carlisle stared at Ceara. "You ordered Chinese food?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry!"

Edward flipped. "It's called BLOOD!"

"It's called NASTY!"

Suddenly, Morgan dove, snatching Ceara's food out of her hand and racing up the stairs. Ceara screeched and raced after her.

"MINE!"

From upstairs, china was heard breaking. A scream brought silence for a few moments, and then something crashed to the floor, sending its contents flying. More yelling was heard. Carlisle rolled his eyes.

***

Bella and Edward stared at the picture of the Volturi in Carlisle's study, Bella holding her newly fixed arm tenderly. It'd been half an hour since the chaos of the party, and Bella and asked who the Volturi were.

The three leaders were dressed in old Victorian clothing, looking out over a balcony. In the back of the picture, Carlisle was painted. Suddenly, the three young vampires popped up on either side of the couple. Amy froze, watching the picture begin to move.

"What is this, HARRY POTTER?"

"Of course you'd use a book reference!"

Ceara, catching Carlisle look at Aro, gasped, nudging Edward repeatedly in the arm.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I bet Aro and Carlisle had a thing! Didn't they? Didn't they? Didn't they? That's why Carlisle left! They broke up! Ooooh… poor Carlisle, he has to pretend to love Esme… Too bad Aro's straight now, his mate's name's Sulpicia… See, I've always thought you pronounced it Sul-_piss_-ea, but it's actually Sul-_pi_-cea! Maybe he's pretending to like her too, they're always fighting…"

Morgan marched up to Ceara and glared at her, looking her straight in the eye. "Alright, who gave her coffee?!"

Bella glared at Ceara, partially surprised that she would dare talk about Carlisle like that. Edward was caught between extreme rage and confusion. Amy sighed as she read her book. Morgan gulped, seeing the rage side of Edward slowly beginning to win. She read his mind.

_Carlisle_… _never really did talk about Aro that much. And he always avoided my eyes when he did! And what's up with that gay scarf he wears all the time_?! _Wait… didn't I overhear Esme yelling at him to put the past behind him and forget about Aro? WHAT?! _

In his moment of confusion, Morgan grabbed Ceara, who was still staring at the picture, and ran to the open window. "Seeya later, nice party! Happy b-day Bella!" She leapt out the window quickly, followed by Amy, still reading her book.

There was a thud down below. "OW! Why'd you land on me?!"

"'Cause you got us into this, Ceara!"

"…Can I have a coffee?"

"NO!"

"I heard there's some hot wolf boys down the road, anyone wanna check it out?"

Morgan and Ceara turned to look at Amy, their expressions similar to what they'd be if she'd just thrown her book into a fire.

"Uh, yeah! HELL yeah!"

"Ok, then let's go… before Edward finally sorts through Ceara' stupidity and comes after us."

Ceara pouted. "Aw, but I wanted cake!"

"Here!" Reaching behind her, Amy withdrew the cake from the party, handing it to Ceara, who promptly smacked her face into the icing and began to eat. Morgan stared at Amy, weirded out.

"Where'd you pull that from?"

"I have my places."

"Eh-? EW! Not thinking about it!"

Amy slapped Morgan with her book.

"Not like that you idiot!"

"Oh… ok… Well then… _To_ the hotties! Awaayyyy!"

Ceara raised her hand. "Dibs on the hottest!"

"No way! You can have the ugliest!"  
"Nu-uh!"  
"I'll get you a coffee."

"OK!"

"You're sick! Horrible trade!"

"I'll live!"

"Technically, you're not living, retard."

"READ YOUR BOOK AMY!"

**Ok, so, this is basically a little fanfic me and my friends though up while watching New Moon. We were watching the Volturi scene, and I just started thinking of all the stupid stuff we would do if we were there. It eventually escalated to the point where we sat down and wrote it all down (in a corner of the library, hiding behind a stack of books. Great hiding place, right?). So this was just a little something I decided to throw out there, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Send me some feedback, a review or msg or something! Don't leave me in the cold, people! I want to know what you all think, and so do my friends! Anyways… Yay, today was a snowday (=D)! No school for me *throws snow at teacher*! Kay, peace. **

**~MarXno**

**Ceara – MarXno doesn't own the Volturi, the Cullens, Bella, and everyone else in the Twilight saga… She does own herself… and her friends own themselves… so… yeah.**

**Morgan – Ever get that coffee?**

**Ceara – No! Someone stole it!**

**Morgan – Ceara? You're a VAMPIRE! How could someone possible steal something from you?!**

**Amy – HEY GUYS!**

**Morgan – Amy, why are you shouting?**

**Amy – I… DON'T…KNOW! BUT I FEEL SO ALIVE! DOES ANYONE WANNA GO SLEDDING?!**

***Ceara and Morgan share a "look"***

**Together - IT WAS YOU! **

**Ceara – You're the Coffee Caper!**

**Morgan – Coffee… Caper- Alright you ruined it.**

**Amy – Muhahaha! MUHAHAHA! *Runs off***

**Ceara – Get BACK here!**

**Morgan – Wait! You can just have Marcus coffee!**

**Marcus - *Marches onto stage* I don't think so! I need that to stay active during the day!**

**Morgan – Whataya **_**mean**_** "active"?! You're a zombie! All you ever do is zone out and… yeah, zone out!**

**Marcus – That just goes to show how much **_**you**_** know!**

**Morgan – OMG! So you and Caius ARE having a thing! **

**Marcus – Wha-? No-!**

**Morgan – MY EYES! MY EYES! WAAAAH! *Runs off stage holding face and crashes into something; Ceara and Amy run by, Ceara still trying to catch Amy***

**Caius – So… she figured it out, didn't she?**

**Marcus – I'm going to bed *marches off stage***

**Caius – You're a vampire, you twit!**

**Marcus – I SEE NO BOUNDRIES!**


	3. Let's Dive!

Let's Dive!

"Are you sure about this?" Morgan eyed Ceara warily as the young vampire pocketed her cell phone.

"You freakin' bet! This is gonna be epic! No, _better_ than epic! … Uh, Amy? What's a word that's better than epic?"

Amy, who was leaning against the cold, stone wall of a building, didn't even pause in her book reading when she answered.

"Epic. Thesaurus results… Scanning… Scanning… Finding… Finding… Results… Marathon. Heroic. Classic. Larger-than-life, impressive, ambitious, grand. A blockbuster.

Morgan blinked. "Well damn! What are you, a computer?"

"I think so Morgs, she was scanning her brain!"

Amy frowned. "Well, one who takes in so much knowledge must find different ways to store it in their mind, so that all that knowledge will fit."

Morgan folded her arms. "Basically you're calling us stupid!"

"Do not deny it!" Ceara yelled.

"No, it would be an insult to stupid people if I called you two… _things_… stupid."

Snapping her book shut, Amy walked away into the night shadows, her heels clicking sharply against the old stone pathways of Volterra.

Morgan blinked. "And I repeat, _daaa_mn!"

"C'mon you smurf, we have a lot of planning to do for today!"

Morgan frowned, tugging at her blue hair. "What the hell?! Smurfs have blue skin, not blue hair!"

Ceara's voice echoed off the walls as she walked away. "Yeah, but you're short enough to be one."

"Well you're… a bloodsucker!"

"Anything else I should know, Captain Obvious?"  
"Yeah, you're old!"

"And so are you. We were born a year apart! 1900 and 1901, remember?"

Morgan swept past Ceara, stalking down the alley. "I'm going to bed."

"Uh, Morgan? Vampire? _Remember_…?"

Morgan threw her hands in the air, still stalking. "What ever happened to the whole bats and coffins shit? I want a coffin!"

"How 'bout some coff_ee_ instead?"

Morgan turned around slowly. "Mocha latté?"

"As long as you don't get as hyper as last time. Remember… when you cut Alec's-"

Morgan put her hands to her ears. "-OK! I _remember_! Jeez, you don't have to bring that up all the time!"

Ceara eyed her friend like she'd just said that she was in love with a werewolf (I wouldn't put it past her, though), wondering why Morgan was so freaked out. "Um, I was gonna say when you cut Alec's hair off."

"Oh…. Yeah, that too…"

***

Silence radiated throughout the Volturi's chambers. Most of the vampires that were there (and not out being creepers and killing other vampires) stood separately gazing off in different directions with bored expressions on their faces. The three thrones were all occupied; all three of the leaders were zoning (especially Marcus). This was your average day as a member of the Volturi; you either brutally killed vampires who'd made serious offenses to the law, or you died of boredom in the hall.

After five straight hours of sitting motionless, Aro blinked, popping out of his revere. Looking around, he named each vampire that was in the hall.

_Jane, Alec, Felix, Demetri, Myself, Caius, Marcus… where is the three newest members? They aren't supposed to be out in the daytime!_

Alarmed, Aro rose from his seat and glided smoothly to Alec, who was leaning against the cold stone wall beside the door. The girls seemed to favor Alec, for some strange reason, and so why not ask him of their whereabouts? He might know.

Aro came to a halt in front of the younger (much hotter) vampire, who looked up immediately.

"Yes, master?"

"Alec, it has come to my attention that you might know the whereabouts of the young girls, I haven't seen them since last night, and they're not allowed out yet in the daytime."

Alec nodded. "They left earlier today, said they had some business to attend to."

Aro frowned. "Earlier today? It's only nine o'clock now. They must have been out while it was still dark, they've been taking advantage of their freedom after hours, you know."

"I suppose they have been. However, I'm sure they'll be back soon. Something tells me we'll hear them long before they even set come within a hundred foot radius of the grounds."

Aro nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're righ-!"

_**BAM!**_

The doors to the hall suddenly flew open with the force that only the world's strongest man could obtain… _or_ a vampire.

"Whoaa!" Aro shouted as he was suddenly crushed between the door and Alec. He flew forward, smacking into Alec as they were pinned to the wall.

The first to walk in was Amy, who strode calmly to a pillar and leaned against it, reading. Morgan and Ceara popped in next, looking either extremely excited or just high off of coffee.

Morgan looked around, her blue hair whipping Ceara in the face multiple times. She stepped forward and put her hands to her mouth.

"_Aro!_ My _bro_! We're home… _yo_!"

Ceara eyed Morgan strangely. "Okaaay… I don't know where he'd be. He's normally in his throne, being the king of boredom and reigning over SnoreLand.

But… he's not there…"

"Well thank you Captain Obvious!"

Morgan suddenly heard a muffled cry from behind the door. Quickly she gripped the door and pulled, ripping it clean off its hinges and sending it flying right at Marcus. It smacked against the vampire with a dull thud and broke apart; the older vampire didn't even notice. Morgan gasped at what the door had revealed: Aro, who was smashed and smushed against Alec.

"Oh _no-_!"

"Stop rhyming, Morgan!"

"Right, sorry, lemme' retry that. Oh… um… EGADE! They _ARE_ having a thing!"

Ceara and Morgan looked at each other, and then at the squashed mush that was Aro and Alec, then back at each other.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The two took off, running in tight, spastic circles. Amy slowly walked over while reading and, ignoring Morgan and Ceara, headed for Aro and Alec. Still reading, she grabbed Aro and pryed him off of Alec. He crumpled to the floor in a hopeless heap. Next, she grabbed Alec and, with much yanking, pulled him out of the wall. A large dent was left in his place.

Morgan stopped her spazzing and trotted up to Aro, who was slowly picking himself off of the ground, and put a finger to her lips.

"What happened to you?!"

Aro stood up and brushed himself off. "To put it simply dear, I was just crushed between and wall and Alec."

Morgan frowned. "Was that before or after your thing with Alec? Funny, I didn't see you when I walked in, did you Ceara? I mean, I opened the door and… oh… OH…oh… sorry." Alec stood, walked past Aro, and slapped Morgan.

"What was that for?!"

"For even _thinking_ that I was ever having a… a… a _thing_ with _him_!"

Aro frowned. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?! Am I not good enough?!" He turned and stalked back to his throne, mumbling. "You people are all just like my wife; I'm _never_ good enough!" From the distance, Sulpicia could be heard yelling. "That's because you focus more on your "most powerful vampire coven in the freakin' world" than you do me!"

Aro sat down annoyedly. Next to him, Caius stirred from his zoning. "WhattidImiss?"

"Nothing."

Ceara laughed. "Liar! I can't believe no one even noticed you getting smashed into Alec by that door! I mean, how many vampires get taken out by doors?! EPIC!"

Aro growled, but before he could do anything besides, Caius spoke. "So that explains why you look so bad! Man, you haven't looked this torn up since the last time your wife beat you up."

Aro coughed. "We shall not refer to that!"

"You can't deny it forever!" shouted Caius, "She wears the… er… _cape_ in your relationship."

Suddenly, Morgan and Ceara popped up next to the two arguing leaders.

"Um, ahem? We have something _muy_ important to say."

Caius snorted. "Muy? Isn't that Spanish?"

"Yeah, I figured since we're gonna be living here now, I should learn the county's native language."

"We're in Italy."

"Yeah, and?"

"We speak Italian, not Spanish."

Morgan glanced at Ceara. "I _TOLD_ you!"

"Aw shut up!"

Morgan snickered and with a single leap jumped on top of Aro's throne, balancing perfectly.

"Attention! Attention!"  
Her calls rang out over the vast hall, echoing. However, nobody woke from their doze to pay any attention to her (after all, if you don't notice a door flying across the room and smacking your leader in the head, then you don't notice squat!). Morgan frowned.

"_**YO**_!"

Her yell shook the room and caused the vampires to wake up (and fall over… _Jane_).

Once she was sure that everyone was looking up at her, Morgan began. "Yello to all my homdog- er, homvamps! My girls and I have noticed recently that, well-"

Ceara cut in. "- You're all about a boring as dirt! No, boring…_er_! 'Cause at least dirt _MOVES_!"

Morgan cleared her throat. "Yeah, what she said… So, we took the liberty of scheduling some _fun_ into your day! You're welcome!"

"Are we going to some exotic new place to hunt? Or fighting out the Cullens?!" Felix asked, intrigued.

"No, even better!"

Jane smirked. "What better than that? It has to be something stupid!"

Morgan mimicked Jane. "It _haaas_ to be something _stuuupid_! Skydiving is _not_ stupid!"

Aro leapt out of his chair. "WHAT?!" Jane rolled her eyes, folding her arms. "Hey, I was right!" Morgan glared down at Jane. With a leap, she jumped off of the chair top, flipped through the air, landing solidly on top of Jane. "Who's right now?!" From below came Jane's muffled comeback. "_Still_ me!" Annoyed, Morgan began jumping up and down, squashing (and re-squashing) Jane even more. Ceara whipped out her camera and snapped a few pictures eagerly. "This is so a Hallmark moment!" Finally, Amy appeared, grabbed her friend's collar, and held her in the air, just above the mess that was Jane. Morgan kicked angrily, her feet dangling a few inches off of the ground. "Amy, put me down! I don't like to be man-handled!" Amy sighed. "Firstly, I'm a girl, not a man, Einstein. Secondly, you got that from Night at the Museum. And yes, thirdly, not until you say sorry."

"How did you even see what happened, you were reading!"

"And I still am," Amy replied, glancing away from her book. "Now, say you're sorry."

Morgan reached over and angrily swatted away Amy's book. The usually serene and quite vampire looked up from where her book lay, her features changing from layed-back to, well, crazy angry. From next to Caius's chair, Ceara oooh'd.

"_Now_ you've made me stop reading! Either you say sorry or I'll kick your ass so hard that your blue hair will turn red Say it… _**NOW**_!"

Morgan cringed and whimpered. "I'm sorry…"

"For?"

"Being born?"

Ceara sighed and leaned against Caius's chair, her long brown hair smothering his face.

"Pugh! Ceara-!"

"Huh? Oh right, good point Caius! Let's get this show on the road!"

Leaping forward, she grabbed Morgan and yanked her down from Amy's iron grasp and dragged her to the door. "Let's go everybody!" She cried, exiting the hall excitedly. Amy frowned, but followed after them, reading as she walked. The room became deathly still, all the vampires eyeing each other. Aro cleared his throat and whispered. "If we move very, very slowly, maybe they'll forget about us." They all began to tip-toe away, except for Jane, who had to be swept up and carried by Alec. Suddenly, the other double door burst of its hinges and went flying, smacking Alec in the head and sending him and Jane careening through the stone wall.

Ceara marched in, rage completely contorting her features. She stomped to the middle of the room, where all eyes were instantly on her. "I. Said. Let's. _**MOVE**_! … _**NOW**_!" She pointed angrily at the door and waited as the vampires all scurried out; casting fearful glances behind them at Ceara as they hurried to get away from her. Glancing at the hole in the wall where Alec had flown through, Ceara walked over and pulled him out, sending him flying through the door that the rest of the coven had just exited through. Sweeping up Jane, Ceara quickly found a card board box to but her in. With the box under her arm, the (crazy *cough cough*) vampire left, following her coven-mates out of the hall and off to their skydiving adventure.

***

Aro gulped and peered through the plane's windows for the first time. Though they must have been in the air for a good half and hour at least, the distance from the plane to the ground couldn't have been more than a mile. He breathed a sigh of relief; as long as they jumped from this height he'd be fine. Around him, his coven stared (you guessed it!) blankly at one another, all most likely dreading the moment that was only a few minutes away, when they would free-fall towards earth, dropping like weights (and screaming like a little kid who wants his blankie)… or, they could all have just been resisting the urge to kill and eat all the humans aboard the plane, and there were quite a few of them. Besides the captain and his assistant, there were two other divers. One, a young girl who'd promptly gone around telling everyone that her name was Taylour, looked around age fifteen, who was carrying a bright looking flower in a flowerpot… if that's even allowed while skydiving…and another girl, who wore a nametag that said "Hi, my name is **Amanda, I bite**!" looking to be about the same age, who was huddled in a corner, muttering to herself and eyeing everyone and everything, especially the flower pot.

Ceara had scheduled their expedition in far of Forks, Washington (go figure!), and they'd promptly made their way across Europe. It is known that it is exceptionally hard to swim whilst trying to hold a box (containing vampire parts... *cough* _Jane_ *cough*) above one's head… so, the job was awarded to Morgan, who was ecstatic at being the "only one who could do it", as Aro had put it, and whom the coven (minus Ceara and Amy) had tried to eliminate, along with Ceara, on the long ocean swim, as a final measure of desperation. They did _not_ like heights. However, Morgan managed to swim while holding the box containing Jane over her head (she looked like a ruh-tard though), and Ceara failed to get taken out by the giant ship that Felix had tossed her in front of. They both made it, to the severe disappointment of the rest of the Volturi, to New Jersey. They'd then run the rest of the way to Forks, the wind drying off their clothes.

Aro glanced out the window again. The skies were overcast, but not heavy with clouds, making it the ideal day for them to go skydiving. He frowned when he noticed the landscape, which remained unchanged from when he'd last looked out the window. He wondered, trying to distract himself from his dread, was _all_ of Forks like this? Was that the reason? Probably, all he'd seen were trees, trees and more freakin' trees on the way in. Suddenly, Captain Brian's voice came onto the intercom. He sounded like a mixture between a western guy and an Australian.

"Alright, our altitudes are lookin' good, so that means that it's time to jump! Now I know ya'll got all suited up before we took off, but I'm gonna have you rechecked, just for safety measures. Lenard, my right hand guy, will be rechecking everything. He's the best skydiving expert our agency's got, so don't worry 'bout a thing!"

Aro snorted. "Oh, sure! You're not the one jumping out of a freakin' plane!"

Brain came back onto the intercom. "I heard that. Watch it, before I _throw_ you out!"

Aro huffed as Lenard stepped out from the font of the plane. He was a tall, handsome man of around thirty or so. Lenard went around slowly, checking to make sure that everyone's gear was ready for the jump… even if the wearer was not. Stepping by Heidi, Lenard was suddenly blasted by her power of charming people.

"Well, hel-_lo_." She said, flipping her hair softly behind her neck so that her vampiric aroma (which smells amazing to humans, if you've perhaps forgotten, which I'm sure you haven't) wafted over him. Lenard inhaled deeply as he finished checking her gear, stood, coughed a little, and said, "You're good."

Heidi raised her eyebrows, wondering if there might be a double meaning his words.

"So, how'd a hottie like you get all the way up here in the first place?"

Lenard looked at Heidi strangely before moving to walk away. "Well, in the _last_ place, I'm gay, lady."

"HEH?!"

Lenard walked away quickly, leaving Heidi to stand, seething at her stupidity and embarrassment. The plane, if even possible, was even more quite than before. Suddenly, the captain appeared.

"Is everyone ready?"

Everyone except Morgan and Ceara shook their heads. Amy was too immersed in her reading to care. Brian frowned and thumbed at the window.

"Aw c'mon, it ain't that bad!"

Morgan started. "Hey, you know who you remind me of? Cid, from Final Fantasy!"

Ceara turned and gave her the weird eye. "You're kidding, right?"

"What?"  
"Final- It's just- You- Nerd- Never mind…"

Aro glanced out the window again. It appeared that they were flying over the same spot that he'd seen the last time he'd looked out the window and at the same altitude too! He _could_ do this! Hope fluttered in his [dead] heart at the prospect of a quick free fall. Brian walked over to where Are continued to stare out the window and peered down at it, frowning.

"Aw, damn, I forgot to dust the blinds again"

Aro went white…er… "_What_?"  
Brian chuckled and, with a jerk of a string below the window, pulled the window up like one of those maps in a teacher's classroom. Aro started, flabbergasted, his voice becoming extremely weak.

"You mean… that… that's…"

"Not a real window? 'Course not! They just put these fake pull down's here to calm people down before the big jump."

Aro flipped. "WELL I'M NOT VERY CALM!"

All of a sudden the plane's door was slid open by a silent Lenard (who was still scarring from Heidi and his interaction), revealing the overcast sky to the coven.

"You've got to jump now, before we get to close to the ocean and have to double back."

Morgan and Ceara looked at each other and whooped. Amy flipped a page in her book eagerly. Aro began backing up to the wall, head whipping from side to side frantically.

"There's no way out. There's no way out! OH LORD! I'm gonna DIE!"

Morgan pointed out the opened door. "Uh, here's the exit."

Alec frowned. "Uh, Morgan, you do know that leads to-"

"-NOOO! SHUT IT, YOU HOT TWIT!" Ceara threw herself at Alec, taking him out (again) and silencing him.

Aro dove for the exit. Once outside, he sighed and looked around him. Gray surrounded him, and a fierce wind whipped at his hair. He frowned and assumed the thinkers position, and then looked down… and down… and down… and… yeah, you get the point. From the plane door, Morgan and Ceara waved.

"Have fun!  
Aro sighed. "Well shit!"

From within the plane came Alec's voice. "I _tried_ to warn you, but Physco Shit over here-"

Ceara growled. "-WHAT?!"

"Uh… hey, did you do something different today with you're hair? It looks _great_!"

"Eh? Oh yeah, I did!"  
"Too easy."

"What?"

"Nuthin…"

The Volturi Coven all eyed the plane door scarcely. Nobody moved, they just stared at one another. The room became deathly still, and then…

"Hehe… hehehe…Hahaha….HAHAHAHA!!! He's gay! That's great! In your face Heidi! They said you could turn a gay guy straight, but oh, were they wrong!"

Ceara glanced at Morgan, then the two of them burst out laughing. Brian frowned.

"Well, that was just damn random. Alright, now how 'bout you all jump before this here plane runs outta gas?"

Saluting, Morgan and Ceara took a running leap and flipped out of the plane.

"WaHOOO!"

"Yee-DOGGY!"

Nobody moved.

Amy looked noticed them all glancing at each other, and new that they were all thinking the same thing: _who's going to stop us from not jumping now?!_ She frowned.

"If you think you can get out of this now that they're gone, think again. Ceara can just as easily jump back into the plane. And Morgan…she's just a… stalker…" Everyone turned around to watch as Amy walked calmly up to the open door. Turning around so that she faced her coven, she flipped a page in her book gracefully falling backwards out off the plane.

More silence.

Slowly Alec walked up to the door, Jane's box still in his arms. Suddenly he smirked and shook the box.

"Jane!"  
"What?"  
"Are you ready?"

"Uh, ready for what, might I ask?"

"Ready for THIS!"

Alec took the box and turned it upside down, causing Jane (in her many pieces) to tumble out of the box and into the air.

"WaaAAAAAAAAH!"

Alec cackled maniacally before leaping out of the plane after his falling sister. Felix coughed. "Well, _that_ was out of character…"

Lenard smiled and scooted close to the huge vampire… _very_ close.

"So, after this do you wanna… go have some lunch?"

Felix turned his head slowly to look at Lenard, stared at him for a full fifteen seconds, then yelped like a little puppy and made a beeline for the door. Demetri, who'd been on the other side of Felix, glanced over sacredly at Lenard, gulping. Lenard smiled and winked at him.

"GAH!"

Demetri leapt after his friend, diving through the open door and into the sky.

Lenard snickered. "Well that got ride of em' fast!" Brian laughed. "They got outta here faster than a couple of vampires trying to get away from some garlic and wooden stakes!" The two men cracked up laughing. Caius sighed and shook his head, walking over to grab a very out of it looking Marcus. Marching over to the door, he dragged the zoned out vampire behind him.

"When they start cracking' the vampire jokes we get the hell out."

Throwing Marcus (who didn't even seem to notice) out first, Caius jumped, still annoyed.

"The _nerve_ of some people! I want to see _them_ try and be a freakin' vampire for a day! It isn't a frolic in the rose garden! All you have to eat _and_ drink is stupid blood, which reminds me of red kool-aid, which I _hate_… "

Heidi, all alone, glanced once at Lenard, thought about killing him, decided he wasn't worth ruining her hair, and strutted to the door. Turning, she pointed to him and said in a darth vader voice, "I'll be back!" Before jumping quickly out of the plane. Brian sighed and shook his head. "_Women_, yeh can't get rid of em', no matter _how_ hard you try. "I'm _gay_", that was a good one, Len!" Lenard looked at Brian strangely. "What was a good one?" Brian scratched his neck. "Uh, you sayin' that yer… _oh_… you _are_… _well_… then…" The two men just stared at each other as an awkward silence enveloped the plane. Suddenly, Taylour popped up between them.  
"So, this is _preeeetty_ awkward, huh?"

Brian flipped shit. "Will you people just _JUMP_?!"

"Oh my!" Taylour hurried to the door and jumped, looking scardly behind her, the flower pot tucked safely in her arms. Only after she'd jumped did she realize…

"_Wait_! My flower pot doesn't have a paaarraaachhuuuuute! …"

Brian cursed and folded his arms, barley noticing as Amanda stalked to the door.

She paused when she reached it and turned around. Brian frowned.

"_What_?!"

"Just wondering, who's driving the plane?"  
Amanda then jumped backwards, slipping quickly out of sight and leaving Brian and Lenard to stare at each other in terror. Lenard glanced out a window, seeing the ocean beneath them. He gulped.

"We don't have map do we? We're _so_ lost!"

"_Arrgggh_! Shit! Stuck with a gay guy out at sea!"

Lenard thought a moment before looking up and smiling. "Well, _hello_."

***

Ceara and Morgan looked up to see Alec dumping Jane out of her box.

"Ooooh… OOoooh… _OOOOH_! Hot damn I knew there was a reason I loved that boy!"

"You mean besides his hotness?"

"Duh!"

The two continued to watch as each vampire flung themselves out of the plane. Soon, they were all relatively close to one another. Aro was a few feet below everyone else, freaking out like crazy, Morgan, Ceara, Amy, Alec, and parts of Jane were all falling together, while the rest of the coven was a little bit above them. Morgan blinked as Jane's arm floated past her face. Suddenly, Ceara's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

Alec smacked his hand to his face. "You've _got_ to be kidding me right now!" Ceara eyed him before returning to her call.

"Oh, hey mom!"

Morgan spun around in the air to face Ceara.

"You're kidding me right? She's still _alive_!"

Ceara stuck her tongue out before flipping upside down. Behind her, Amy floated past reading.

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm not busy! Why am I shouting? We're skydiving! WHA- Calm down! GOD MOM! …. FINE!"

Ceara thrust the phone at Morgan. "She wants to talk to you."

"No, she scares me!"

Morgan threw the phone at Alec.

"TALK TO HER, _NOW_!"

Raising the phone hesitantly to his ear, Alec gulped.

"Uh, hello? Mrs….Yes we're actually skydiving. Who am I? I'm Alec. No, I'm not Ceara's boyfr…" Suddenly Alec got a horrible grin on his face. Ceara gulped. "Why are you grinning like that?" Morgan shook her head. "That's freaky, man!"

"STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT!"

Alec resumed his conversation. "Er, actually, I'm her husband. Of course we got married! It was great; we paid some guy five bucks to do it! He's the guy who did me and Morgan's wedding, too… yes, Morgan Ceara's friend… Hey, I AM NOT A PLAYER! … N-no, please don't beat me with your hose! Yeah we have kids! How many? Eh, around twelve, I think. Yeah we got busy-!"

Suddenly Ceara swooped out of nowhere, an I'm-gonna-so-freakin'-kill-you look contorting her face. Flying forward, she shot past Alec, snatching the phone from his hand.

"Mom? Mom- STOP SCREAMING! Uh, I gotta go- I GOTTA FREAKIN' GO! No, please don't have a heart attack! We're going to land soon mom- yes I'll call you back. Yes- GOOD DAY!"

Hanging up, Ceara went to put her phone in her pocket, fumbeled, and dropped it. They watched as it flew downwards to knock Aro, who was still freaking out, in the head.

"AAAH! NOW THE FREAKIN' SKY IS FALLING! AHHHhhhh......"

Morgan glared at Ceara, trying to break eye contact with her as Jane's ear went floating past.

"I just bought you that phone and you _drop_ it?! You, a _vampire_!"

"Sorry…"

Morgan glared at Ceara, who smiled innocently back. Suddenly they both remembered at the same time what Alec had done, and spun to face him.

"We are going to kill you."

Alec gulped. "Well thanks for putting it bluntly."

"You're welcome. Now you can look forward to it!"  
Morgan shook her head at Ceara, then at Alec. "You gonna die, boy… right after I eat these skittles!"

Pulling a giant pack of skittles out of… nowhere… Morgan eagerly began trying to open it, floating upside down in the process.

Ceara jumped. "Oh, oh! I want some!"

With a rip the bag opened; Morgan cheered. "Yay! I gots it!"

She was still cheering as all of the skittles fell out of the bag.

"Morgan! You've lost the skittles!"

"How?!"

Alec sighed. "Maybe because you're upside down you-"

Morgan suddenly flew past him, trying to catch the floating skittles in her mouth.

"Gah, I gto one- Choking… ho..kig…"

Ceara sighed. "Oh boy."

"I'm not helping her." Alec frowned, crossing his arms. Amy looked up from her book at the flailing, choking vampire and then resumed her reading indifferently. Jane's mouth started laughing.

Ceara sighed again, lazily. "I got it."

***

By the time the coven reached the ground, they were completely split up. Morgan, all alone and still upside down, had begun to sing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song, and hadn't noticed the ground coming up quickly below her. _**CRASH**_. Morgan hit a boat at full speed, crashing right through it and into the ocean below. On deck, the crew began to panic as the boat sank.

"It's the apocalypse!"

"The sky is FALLING!"

"MOOOOOM!"

"I think and ALIEN just crashed through our ship… it's a SIGN!"

***

Ceara shouted the Gummy Bear song into the sky as she fell… and looked down at the last second. Seeing the Dunkin' Donuts that she was about to crash into, she panicked. Shutting her eyes, she smashed into the buildings roof, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor, in the front of the line. The flabbergasted employees and customers all leaned over one another to get a look at what had just shot through the roof. Ceara stood up, brushed herself off, and straightened up her hair the best she could. Looking around at everyone staring at her, she frowned and threw her hands into the air.

"What?!"

"Uh, Ms.?"

"_What_?!"

"Are you going to order?"

***

Amy was at an incredibly exciting part in her book, she couldn't look away! She barley noticed as she crashed through the roof of Borders and landed in the middle of the children's section. A little kid, who'd been browsing the shelves, whirled around in horror as Amy got up, covered in white plaster, and resumed her reading. Trembling, the child backed away, pointing a shaking finger at her. "It's the ghost of that kid who got a paper cut reading… IT IS TRUE!" The little kid ran blindly from Amy, hit a shelf, and knocked it over, collapsing in a heap on the ground. From the aisle over, and old lady looked up to find a bookcase falling towards her.

"Oh dear…"

_**CRASH**_.

Amy failed to noticed, instead she went around and pulled random books off the shelves as she read, then headed to the checkout.

The women behind the counter blinked at her appearance, but remained quite about it.

"Is that all?"

"Yes… but, you might want to check that hole in the ceiling… and the little kid that's curled in the fetal position on the corner, in denial… and the old lady under the bookcase that fell over when the child spazzed."

Grabbing the bag full of her new books, Amy walked out of the store reading.

***

Marcus crashed hard into Chuckie Cheeses, taking out a few kids as he fell. A person in a giant mouse costume broke his fall, and he landed with a giant thud that was hardly even noticed by the many little kids who scurried around playing games to get tickets so that they could win crappy, cheap prizes that they could just buy at a dollar store… Standing up gracefully, Marcus swept boredly from the spot where he'd landed, heading to the exit quickly.

"Wait!"

Not even pausing, Marcus continued to walk towards the exit. The guy in the Chuckie Cheese costume suddenly popped up in front of him, looking a little beat up after being landed on. Marcus continued to walk, almost smacking into the giant mouse as he swept past him. The mouse tried again. Running up to the exit, he spread his arms wide.

"STOP!"

Marcus sighed and halted.

"Welcome to Chuckie Cheese! My name is Chuckie!"

"Ok."

"Uh…Well buy some tokens and stay a while!"

"I can not."

"Why? You look like you could use some fun in your life!"

"I am going to be late."

"Late for what? A meeting? Just call and take the day off! Everyone deserves a Chuck-tastic day once and a while!"

"I can not. I'm going to be late."

"Late for what, mister?!"

"I have a scheduled zoning out at five. I can not miss it."

"Zoning… out?"

"You must know. When a person-"

"I know what it means! But... Hey, where'd he go?"

Marcus kept on running till Chuckie Cheese was just a far off speck… a horrible, overpriced, scary speck.

***

Aro screamed and rolled into the fetal position as the ground loomed nearer, shaking in fear. This had to be the worst freakin' day of his life! He didn't know for how long he'd been falling, but it was _too_ long! He was just wondering when he was going to land when he crashed into something hard. Opening his eyes, Aro blinked as plaster settled around him. Where was he? Standing up, Aro looked around. It was one of those twenty first century department stores! Ugh! Whatever happened to making your own clothes?! Cautiously Aro moved out of the lone aisle where he'd landed and hurried up to the cash register. The women there looked at him like he had three eyes.

"Can I help you?"

Aro paused. What should he say? The last time he'd been out of Volterra was in the early nineteen hundreds, and that time he'd gone to Sweden (note to self, you do _not_ have to go all the way to Sweden to get Swedish fish, you can buy them at your local supermarket/corner store -_-)! Should he introduce himself? So many things he did not know!

"Er, how do you do? My name is Aro, and I'm _not_ a vampire. I was just wondering… where am I?"

The girl looked at him suspiciously, and then sighed, beginning to fold the returned items neatly as she spoke.

"Hi… Aro… you're in, er, Aέropostle. A _clothing_ _store_."

Aro blinked. "_Aro_postle you say?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, I think I might just have a look around, is that ok?"

"Go for it."

Aro scurried off, and immediately found something that caught his eye. He gasped at the large arrangement of scarves that stood before him, and fingered one. So many different colors, red blue, yellow, pink, fuschia! "Oh, oh! They're so soft! I must buy one so Carlisle and I can match! Oh, look how _cute_!"

From the register, that girl heard Aro's cries of delight and leaned over to see what he was looking at.

"Pansy… I hate my job…"

Aro suddenly popped up, holding a feathery scarf. "Excuse me, but do you have this color is salmon?"  
"I'm sorry, but some guy name Dr. Carlisle bought the whole stock."

"DAMN YOU CARLISLE!"

***

Caius crash landed hard into a tall building, landing perfectly on a chair. People chatted and sipped fancy drinks around him, all of them dressed in their finest. Many people were playing cards, while others were at slot machines. Caius started as he realized that he'd landed smack dab in the middle of a casino. Rubbing his hands together, he walked over to a slot machine and put in some American money that he'd found on the plane… in the captains pocket… "These are my kind of people," he muttered to himself as he inserted the money. "Cold, cruel, and manipulative!" Pulling the slot, he waited, rubbing his hands together eagerly. In the few times that he'd played the slots, he'd never lost! He watched as the pictures turned, lemon, ring, dollar sign, lemon, ring, dollar sign. The pictures began to slow down, until… lemon… lemon… _ring_?! Enraged, Caius swore loudly and smacked the machine hard. The force of his smack caused the machine to fly into the opposite wall.

_Ding. Ding. Ding. _"WINNER! WINNER!" Coins began spilling out of the machine. Faster and faster. People began diving for them, flying over each other in an attempt to grasp at the money. Caius frowned and ran forward, grabbed the people, and flung them at the blackjack tables. They hit the dealer with a thud! A young man who'd been playing took the opportunity to scoop up half of another mans chips, who wasn't paying attention. Caius did a happy dance.

"Yay! I always win! Go me, go me! I rock, I rock! _YEAH_!"

***

Alec zoomed downwards, enjoying the feeling of falling, the wind rushing in his hair. He spotted his destination, a small restaurant, and flipped forward in the air into a dive. Crashing through the ceiling of the building, he did a back flip and landed gracefully on top of a table. He grinned. Where there was food, there were people, aka, _his_ food! And man, was he hungry! Looking around, he suddenly went weak at the knees; a woman danced on the table he was on. He'd landed in a strip club! Alec gulped and smiled a little. Ah well, it wouldn't hurt to stay just a _little_.

………………………….

Jane screamed. She'd managed to pull herself together (literally) while she'd been falling (in pieces), but she still needed to find her feet. She looked down at her legs, where her feet should have been and what were now only stubs. The wind whipped at her hair as she fell, and she worriedly wondered what would become of her if she couldn't find her feet… or be found! Smartly, she pulled her parachute and glided smoothly down to earth. She landed softly on hard packed earth and looked around. Suddenly, the parachute landed over her, and she couldn't see. Blindly she tried to get it off, but it still took her a while to untangle herself. When she was finally free, she found that she'd accidentally knotted the parachute cords around her waste…. And gotten the parachute stuck on a nearby gate… wait, a gate? Looking around again, Jane gasped. She was in an ape exhibit! Already the primates were inching closer to see who the strange newcomer was.

"No, NO! Stay BACK! EWWW, I HATE MONKEYS!" Jane scrabbled backwards, trying to keep her distance from the apes. And then, she saw them, her feet. They were lying behind the apes forlornly. Jane thought. _I can probably jump over these monkeys without feet… _She went to get up, but found herself stuck, the parachute cord keeping her were she was. The monkeys were getting closer. Jane screamed. "ALEC! HELP ME! HEEEEEEELP!"

………………………….

From far off, Alec heard his sisters desperate pleas for help. He looked out the door, then at the strippers, then out the door again.

"Let's see… stay here, help sister… stay _here_, help sister… Stay HERE!"

***

Felix and Demetri looked at each other scaredly. The two hadn't quite learned how to use their parachutes…

"OK!" Demetri shouted over the wind. "On the count of three, we pull every button, clip, and pulley we have on these suits. One… two… THREE!" They began frantically pulling everything as the ground loomed up below them, quicker and quicker, closer and closer. Demetri started. "AH HA!" Pulling hard, his parachute popped open. He floated gently on a breeze. Looking up at Felix, Demetri shouted. "Pull the blue one!"

Felix nodded and yanked at the blue strap… nothing happened.

"It's jammed!" He shouted back. Demetri sighed and shook his head. Why him?

"Pull harder, dude!"

Felix nodded and pulled. He pulled, yanked, ripped, and tugged… nothing worked. Just when he was about to give up, he felt the strap give a little. He tugged again and found that it began loose.

"I got it!"

"That's _great_, now pull, _quickly_!"

Felix nodded and pulled. Nothing. He tried again. Nothing.

Demetri landed lightly on the ground and looked up to find…. Felix hurtling to earth.

"I can't get it!" He shouted, before smacking the ground, hard.

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt!"

Suddenly, Felix's parachute burst out of his pack and covered him in a silky screen of blue.

Felix huffed and said in a muffled voice. "A little late!"

***

Heidi pulled her parachute at the last second, angled downward towards the parking lot she'd spotted, and landed gracefully, her parachute fluttering down to the ground behind her. Cutting herself loose, she gripped her shirt and ripped her outfit off, revealing a red, sparkling mini dress and heals underneath her skydiving outfit. She stalked into the bar she'd landed in front of, tossing her hair as she entered. Walking confidentially up to the bartender, she ordered a drink and leaned back in her seat, crossing her legs. Surveying her surroundings, Heidi took in a couple of tidy, nicely dressed men playing pool, and a few others drinking together and chatting. She noticed with glee that she was the only woman in the bar. All _the human women must be too intimidated by these men._ She thought to herself. This was just what she needed to get her mind off of Lenard! She turned around suddenly as the bartender came around with her drink. He cast her a strange glance before going to tend on another customer. Heidi noticed a man looking at her from a few seats down. She turned on her power, her charm, and turned slowly to look at him. The guy grinned, eyeing her up and down.

"Good god lady, do you have a brother you could introduce me to?"

Heidi frowned and turned away. "Um, no." Why would he want to be introduced to her brother? She didn't even have a brother! She suddenly caught the name of the bar, a neon sign colored green and pink. _Somewhere over the Rainbow Bar. _Heidi started and froze. Turning slowly, she gazed at her surroundings again… The bar name… all the men and no women… the bartender giving her that weird look… the man asking if she had a brother… she was in a _gay_ bar! Leaping up, Heidi ran for the door, incredibly embarrassed. She didn't stop running until she made it back to Volterra. Back at the bar, the bartender nudged the man who'd spoken to Heidi.

"Well, that was pretty funny, huh?"

***

**OK! So! Yes, this took forever to get done. Yes, I've been **_**incredibly**_** busy, but hey, what can a girl do? Gah, my but hurts from sitting and typing so long! School was canceled today (*does happy dance*), so I made it my mission to finish this! My friends and I were in German class a few months back, and we'd just learned how to say "I like to skydive", so we started joking around about this, and then started talking about our Volturi story, and viola! That is how this chapter was born! Lolz, I hope you all liked it! Tis' my first story that I wrote on my new laptop =D.**

**Please review and feel free to msg me with ideas or comments!**

**Peace!**

**~MarXno**

**Aro – I hate you! !**

**Me – Hot damn Aro, calm down!**

**Aro – No, NO! I can't be calm, that was **_**horrible**_**!**

**Alec – It couldn't have been worse than getting threatened to get beat with a hose by Ceara's mom!**

**Aro - …Hahahaha! Loser! What'd you tell her, that you were married to Ceara! HAHAHA! Oh, oh! And that you also married Morgan! Ha, and, and that you guys had, like, twenty kids?! Ahahaha! No… only a complete idiot would say that!**

**Alec - …**_**Right**_**…**

**Me - … *Walks away shaking head* Pansy…**

**Alec – Heh?!**

**Me – I SAID PANSY!**

**Alec – Oh… *snivels***

**Ceara – Don't cry, Alec!**

**Amy – He can't cry you idiot, he's a vampire!**

**Ceara – Oh yeah?! Well… Well… You made an old lady get crushed by a book case!**

**Alec – Ceara, that was the little kid who did that.**

**Ceara – Yeah, well she scared the little kid who crushed the old lady!**

**Alec - … okaaay…**

**Jane - *Pops out of no-where and points at Morgan and Alec* YOU TWO!**

**Morgan/Alec – Oh SHIT! **

**Aro – Everybody scatter, she's gonna bloooow!**

**Ceara - *runs off* The apocalypse is **_**nigh**_**!**

**Alec – Couldn't we try to settle this peacefully?**

**Jane – Lemme' thin- NO! *Lunges at Morgan and Alec**

**Ceara – NOOOO, she has rabieeeeesss! *Throws a zoned out Marcus in front of Alec and Morgan***

***Jane and Marcus collide***

**BOOM!**

**Everyone – Ooooh!**

**Morgan – Pretty colors!**

**Alec – That's got to hurt!**

**Aro – He's probably to zoned out to feel anything**

***Marcus screaming like a little girl***

**Aro –Never mind…**


End file.
